Why it's okay to feel lonely
I'm 25 and feel incredibly lonely.
I grew up in a normal sized town, went to university in another county and now that I'm back I don't fit in with my friends that stayed here. I got a job here with people that are older than me and so don't really socialise with them because they have family's etc. So what can I do? I've tried getting back in with the old group, but am tired of trying, I have looked at starting night classes to meet new people, but some are very expensive and the actual course doesn't interest me. I can't go to a bar and chat to people because that is "Weird" and "creepy" by today's standards, so what can i do? Advice and comments are appreciated.
I've decided to join a running club, as exercise is good for the body and mind and hopefully running with others will bring new social groups for me. Only one way to find out I guess? I am terrified by this, but need to push myself to get out of the comfort box that is my room.
Anyway, I have constantly worked on stream-lining my life to increase the amount of time I have and work on making certain jobs I have to do more efficient. However as a lonely person with quite a bit of free time and a routine which is probably bad for me, I have decided to use this as a positive thing. I am using it to watch movies which are supposed to be great, read books and the news, this is difficult and sometimes I don't want to do it, I just want to play video games or sleep or watch TV. But it needs to be done, in order to be able to socialise I need to be able to get pop culture references and be able to relate to what is going on in the world and this is a key part. In my mind, if I don't do this I won't fit in when I do get out there and socialise (whenever that will be!), it's a small step and I am finding things I really enjoy, new writers and favourite movies (Shawshank redemption is amazing!). This kind of growth is something that I haven't experienced in years and it feels great.
In terms of holidays, which can be a big issue for people, I recently went on a "Contiki" which is a holiday for solo travellers, basically a bus load of solo travellers do a certain route and see certain things etc. There is a guide and they make it so much fun, you can meet so many cool people and make real friends. It is definitely worth it, scary as hell as first - but so much fun! There are a lot of different companies that do it, can be anywhere in the world, can be as long or as short as you want it to be, so just look into and take a risk, I did and I will do another one soon and am looking forward to it. I did a tour from New York to New Orleans and visited the Kennedy Space Centre, Miami and Orlando to name a few, it was Epic!
I speak to my therapist a lot about the loneliness I feel and about how I feel left behind, and honestly I'd much rather have no friends then have friends who don't make the effort. If they don't want me then I don't want them, simple as that. I know that isn't easy for everyone and everyone has their own battles going on, but I have just given up with trying to be "in" with the group, if they want a coffee or something then that's okay, but it has been over half a year and I can't see that happening now!
I've gone on too long and I apologise for this, but the topic of loneliness is something that isn't seen as being common in millennial's. This is because people are too busy looking at their mobile phones to notice and posting on Instagram to distract them from being lonely and make themselves look more social than they are. I hate it and I hate what social media has done to today's generation. But please if anyone out there is struggling and wants to vent or shout or just talk about anything, I am here for you, just comment or email me and we can chat
I grew up in a normal sized town, went to university in another county and now that I'm back I don't fit in with my friends that stayed here. I got a job here with people that are older than me and so don't really socialise with them because they have family's etc. So what can I do? I've tried getting back in with the old group, but am tired of trying, I have looked at starting night classes to meet new people, but some are very expensive and the actual course doesn't interest me. I can't go to a bar and chat to people because that is "Weird" and "creepy" by today's standards, so what can i do? Advice and comments are appreciated.
I've decided to join a running club, as exercise is good for the body and mind and hopefully running with others will bring new social groups for me. Only one way to find out I guess? I am terrified by this, but need to push myself to get out of the comfort box that is my room.
Anyway, I have constantly worked on stream-lining my life to increase the amount of time I have and work on making certain jobs I have to do more efficient. However as a lonely person with quite a bit of free time and a routine which is probably bad for me, I have decided to use this as a positive thing. I am using it to watch movies which are supposed to be great, read books and the news, this is difficult and sometimes I don't want to do it, I just want to play video games or sleep or watch TV. But it needs to be done, in order to be able to socialise I need to be able to get pop culture references and be able to relate to what is going on in the world and this is a key part. In my mind, if I don't do this I won't fit in when I do get out there and socialise (whenever that will be!), it's a small step and I am finding things I really enjoy, new writers and favourite movies (Shawshank redemption is amazing!). This kind of growth is something that I haven't experienced in years and it feels great.
In terms of holidays, which can be a big issue for people, I recently went on a "Contiki" which is a holiday for solo travellers, basically a bus load of solo travellers do a certain route and see certain things etc. There is a guide and they make it so much fun, you can meet so many cool people and make real friends. It is definitely worth it, scary as hell as first - but so much fun! There are a lot of different companies that do it, can be anywhere in the world, can be as long or as short as you want it to be, so just look into and take a risk, I did and I will do another one soon and am looking forward to it. I did a tour from New York to New Orleans and visited the Kennedy Space Centre, Miami and Orlando to name a few, it was Epic!
I speak to my therapist a lot about the loneliness I feel and about how I feel left behind, and honestly I'd much rather have no friends then have friends who don't make the effort. If they don't want me then I don't want them, simple as that. I know that isn't easy for everyone and everyone has their own battles going on, but I have just given up with trying to be "in" with the group, if they want a coffee or something then that's okay, but it has been over half a year and I can't see that happening now!
I've gone on too long and I apologise for this, but the topic of loneliness is something that isn't seen as being common in millennial's. This is because people are too busy looking at their mobile phones to notice and posting on Instagram to distract them from being lonely and make themselves look more social than they are. I hate it and I hate what social media has done to today's generation. But please if anyone out there is struggling and wants to vent or shout or just talk about anything, I am here for you, just comment or email me and we can chat
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