Cantankerous Underestimated Neurotic Twat

Well It finally happened, what we all expected happened. Boris Johnson, the king of stupidity and the comedic ignoramus has become prime minister of the UK. It's not surprising, most people expected it and he hasn't exactly got a hard act to follow. I mean Theresa May was something special in her own right, but Boris is taking the lunacy of the UK political system to new heights. The guy who actively supported the remain party won and now leads us into what will most likely be a no deal brexit. Well fuck. I cannot believe that other MPs like him, he is constantly changing his mind and doing things that are different to what he originally said. He supported the European Union years ago and now thinks differently? It has been obvious for sometime that he has wanted to be PM, but he clearly knows fuck all about the general public and refuses to actually discuss things that are important or make a decision on anything. It just annoys me that someone so detached can pretend to b...

I am constantly amazed at how a certain world leader (we will call him Wonald Dump) can out-do himself. He is often in the headlines for being a complete and utter wanker but now part of the plan of making a country marvellous again has reached new heights. Somehow racism and getting a crowd to shout "Send them home" is acceptable? They were born in the fucking country that they are representing. And yes they are women of colour and of different religion but why the fuck does that matter? It's unbelievable considering that America is meant to be the big melting pot. Especially as the only true Americans are the American Indians. Wonald Dump is actually of Scottish and German Heritage, so why isn't he sent home too? The reason is because he is a big fucking child and seems to think that if you shout it that it must be true. It's this kind of child like thinking that he has used throughout all of his life, but he is a man who has gone bankrupt before and has a str...

I don't know if you saw recently, but Sir David Attenborough was at Glastonbury music festival to advocate recycling and how we all have to look out for the planet. I fully agree with him - we all do. But that is the problem, we all agree on the face of it but how many people are actually willing to act about it? The reason I ask is because he got one of the biggest cheers of the festival, but the place was still left like a shit hole at the end of it and was covered in rubbish and tents etc. So I ask you this, either you "care" about the environment so your friends don't think you're a dick or you do care and just left the place like a dump anyway. Confusing huh? Now I know that I sound like an arsehole and I am an arsehole don't get me wrong, but I work in the food packaging industry and know more than the average person about recycling and the direction that we are going in (UK primarily). I am aware too that I sound rather up myself with how I wrote th...

I'm 25 and feel incredibly lonely. I grew up in a normal sized town, went to university in another county and now that I'm back I don't fit in with my friends that stayed here. I got a job here with people that are older than me and so don't really socialise with them because they have family's etc. So what can I do? I've tried getting back in with the old group, but am tired of trying, I have looked at starting night classes to meet new people, but some are very expensive and the actual course doesn't interest me. I can't go to a bar and chat to people because that is "Weird" and "creepy" by today's standards, so what can i do? Advice and comments are appreciated. I've decided to join a running club, as exercise is good for the body and mind and hopefully running with others will bring new social groups for me. Only one way to find out I guess? I am terrified by this, but need to push myself to get out of the comfort box ...

So, here is the thing - Online dating sucks. And I know that sounds insanely negative and that's because it is. I have tried it, both the free versions (POF, Tinder etc - if you can call them dating apps) and the paid ones (Match, Eharmony etc) and the reason that these are all shit is to do with the fact that people want money without doing anything. But I mean who can blame them? I'd love money without doing anything, everyone would, it would be great right? Well from a male perspective, all dating apps are full of money craving cons, like bots which are always obvious to spot due to the fact that they never look at your profile. These nearly always immediately send you a message saying "Hey Sexy, want to see more of me?" - I mean classy right? Every guy is going to want to seriously date a woman that offers that on the first message, but it gets better as "She/it" then proceeds to send you a most likely virus ridden hyperlink to input your card deta...

Today I got an email from tripadvisor with the headline “Top 10 most instagramable restaurants”.   And what’s sad is that I can guarantee that it was probably their best piece of marketing as it appealed to the millennials who don’t care about the taste of food anymore. They don’t care about anything unless they can Instagram it to show people that they have experienced it. But I just don’t get it. I recently went to watch Northampton Saints vs The Saracens in the rugby Cup Final, and more people were viewing the game and award ceremony at the end through their phones with filters and shit then people who weren’t. How many people are going to watch the shit footage they took? Photos are nice, but shitty video footage which is shaky and has someone hysterically screaming in the background is fucking redundant. I feel the same about concerts, it’s all about z-rate footage of people dancing and singing badly, during which some guy is maybe singing on stage and they are so far ...

I don’t like Michael Jackson. Why do people need to pretend to like famous singers? Michael Jackson was the key one for me, when I was at school, he was only known for bad things, no one actually liked him in school, he was a “pedo” or whatever the kids say these days. But when he died, everyone became his greatest fan, writing long posts about how his music “touched them”. Now I can interpret this in one of two ways, either they lied about not liking him at school, just to be “Cool” and they actually enjoyed his music. Or the more plausible alternative which is that they need to have an opinion to keep up their social status. As we all know, it’s impossible for something to happen in life and not post something about it, so that everybody you know on social media can witness how truly magnificent you are. I like to think that this can be extrapolated to most other big events. Now, before I go off on one I should say that people are entitled to their own opinions, I don’t speak to e...

I am old. And when I say old I don’t mean wise for my age or my body feels old, I mean that I’m an old man in a 24 year olds body. Everything about today’s generation baffles me, I know that I’m a millennial and that according to previous generations we have it easy (Questionable really, speak to anyone my age about owning a house and then see how easy it is being a millennial and buying a house with no deposit and it only costing £10,000). I am a millennial with a problem, I don’t fit into today’s bizarre generation, I went to a coffee shop at the weekend and I bought a coffee and I read a book, it was great. But I didn’t conform to social standards: the coffee shop spelt my name correctly. I didn’t “Snap” or “Gram” it (god knows why people can’t say the word correctly anymore, like seriously!? is Snapchat or Instagram too fucking difficult to say?), I didn’t tweet or Face it (I’m assuming that’s what hipsters call Facebook these days) and I didn’t Bebo or Myspace it. So basically ...